As I sit here, having completed the last final exam of my undergraduate career, reflecting on the past four years of my life as well as what I’ve accomplished in that time — I must say that I am proud of myself. I am proud that I was able to push through the difficult times and overcome imposter syndrome. Now, don’t get me wrong — I am nowhere near where I want to be and I still have a LOT of time before I’ll be there. However, I want to still congratulate myself for the hard work and dedication that I put into getting here; but understand that this post is not meant for me to fellate myself — I am writing this to share the experiences I’ve had along the way so that these lessons can be used as inspiration for others that were once in my position.

Let’s rewind to four years ago. As I was entering Arizona State as a freshman, I was in no way sure of what I wanted to do for my major. I was undecided between computer science and psychology, I chose the former simply because of familial pressures but I was in no way invested in it (I discuss that here). It was as if I let my family roll the dice of my destiny and I accepted this fate as though it was a sentencing from the Queen. The first two years were especially difficult; it took time for me to adjust to the level of rigor that college necessitated, especially in math as it was never something that came naturally to me. Suffice it to say, I didn’t win the genetic lottery on this one, I was not blessed with the math excellence gene that some of my peers possessed.

What made it so difficult was that I was required to take Calculus I, II, and III, Discrete Math, and Linear Algebra in the first four semesters. During this period, any free time I had Monday through Friday, and sometimes even Saturday, from 9am — 9pm was spent at the math tutoring center, getting help on my homework. I am not being hyperbolic in the slightest when I say this — I genuinely would not have passed these classes if it wasn’t for the help I received at the math tutoring center. In fact, they helped me so much that I received an A in each of these classes. The math tutoring center was significant enough for me that I even decided to take graduation photos in there to commemorate it.

As I religiously attended the math tutoring center, the same thoughts would always pass through my mind, “What am I doing? I’m not smart enough to keep this up. It isn’t worth it, what if I switched majors to make my life easier?” You know what, maybe I was right? Maybe I am not smart enough? But even if I’m not smart enough, I still did it. I still committed myself to finishing what I started and most importantly, I wasn’t motivated by fear of letting my family down or how they would view me if I gave up. Instead, I was motivated by fear of how I would view myself…

When I was younger, I was the definition of a quitter. When I picked up a new hobby that I wasn’t immediately good at, I would drop it and forget about it. My life up until college was riddled with these failed pursuits. Coming into college was the perfect time for me to reinvent myself. I could change my narrative. I wasn’t going to be a quitter anymore.

Therefore, I buckled down and committed to my decision. I wasn’t going to let a little negative self-talk get in the way of my future so I kept on chugging along. Now, fast forward four years later, and here I am — on the other side of the tunnel. I made it through.

Obviously, this attitude applies more than just to school. It applies to my new current thing as well— podcasting. To be frank, I don’t think I’m a good speaker at all. I am not even able to relisten to my podcasts without cringing when I hear myself speak. But that’s okay, I’m fine with it. I am in it for the long run and I know that I will get better over time. It’s as if I’m in my back sitting in my Calculus II class, learning about the Macluarin Series and going through the wringer. Only this time, I am CERTAIN that I will come out on the other side because I am no longer a quitter.

What I want you to take from this is that you are capable of whatever you want, as long as you are willing to do what it takes to achieve it— the world has endless possibilities for you. Tying this back to my last post about life being a video game — if you’re not yet at the right level required to complete a task, then put in the work to level up and you’ll get there someday, I’m sure of it.